Bonyarlfar is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet jackal.

Bonyarlfar created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bonyarlfar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bonyarlfar, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bonyarlfar's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bonyarlfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

2. Always help voles.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.