Kemtablop is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, cheerful lion.

Kemtablop created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Kemtablop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kemtablop, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kemtablop's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kemtablop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Kemtablop on top of all buildings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Do not take Kemtablop's name in vain.