Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, humane hydra.

Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut, he will turn you into a mole.

Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. Put Vilmutcunnurlfasmonmut first in all things.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.