Sugtunpak is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, passionate squirrel.

Sugtunpak created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sugtunpak, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sugtunpak, he will boil you in a big pot.

Sugtunpak's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Sugtunpak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Sugtunpak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Doves are not to be trusted.

5. Do not eat coconuts.