Ranmutlag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, happy zebra.

Ranmutlag created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ranmutlag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ranmutlag, she will ignore you.

Ranmutlag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Ranmutlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Run away from yellow swans, for they are unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.