Bafbafflab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing badger.

Bafbafflab created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafbafflab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bafbafflab, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bafbafflab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bafbafflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt aardvarks.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Always wear green.