Labmabfen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, confident dryad.

Labmabfen created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Labmabfen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Labmabfen, she will ignore you.

Labmabfen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Labmabfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing black trousers and balancing eight silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Labmabfen.

4. Never think ill of sick mites.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.