Tiffossjig is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unjust dragon.

Tiffossjig created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffossjig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tiffossjig, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tiffossjig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tiffossjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never feed parsnips to manatees while wearing kilts.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Do not sit in public.