Rip is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unselfish crane.

Rip created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Rip, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rip, it will laugh at you.

Rip's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Rip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Never feed grapes to dolphins while wearing corsets.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never hop near voles.