Taftafgub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless frog.

Taftafgub created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Taftafgub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Taftafgub, it will torture you forever.

Taftafgub's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Taftafgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Taftafgub on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed cucumbers to gulls while wearing shorts.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.