Kadzimliklinneljanfed is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm pigeon.

Kadzimliklinneljanfed created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadzimliklinneljanfed, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kadzimliklinneljanfed, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kadzimliklinneljanfed's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kadzimliklinneljanfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Kadzimliklinneljanfed loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must pray to Kadzimliklinneljanfed three times a day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.