Canlipgep is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless butterfly.

Canlipgep created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canlipgep, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Canlipgep, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Canlipgep's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Canlipgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near gulls while wearing mauve boots and balancing eight silver spheres on your back.

2. Retreat if six dolphins approach from the east.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Canlipgep.

4. Always obey Canlipgep's priests.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.