Madhatliprot is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced mouse.

Madhatliprot created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madhatliprot, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Madhatliprot, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Madhatliprot's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Madhatliprot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Do not chop down trees.