Tigvilcep is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, flying aardvark.

Tigvilcep created the planet Venus three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigvilcep, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tigvilcep, it will laugh at you.

Tigvilcep's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tigvilcep's Holy Commandments

1. Tigvilcep loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tigvilcep.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tigvilcep.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near hamsters while wearing brown hats and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.