Tonkligzan is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered wombat.

Tonkligzan created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkligzan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkligzan, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tonkligzan's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tonkligzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always look after injured whales.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.