Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical swan.

Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan, he will turn you into a goat.

Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pangkomwotmeg Monkipgigbagquartjan.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Always look after injured horses.