Sigwotmon Jipbifsinbassripfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish walrus.

Sigwotmon Jipbifsinbassripfas created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigwotmon Jipbifsinbassripfas, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sigwotmon Jipbifsinbassripfas, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sigwotmon Jipbifsinbassripfas' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sigwotmon Jipbifsinbassripfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Hide from purple foxes for they are unholy.

3. Run away if four otters approach from the east.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never chant near birds.