Cinquagquimkanfarfebzed is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless grasshopper.

Cinquagquimkanfarfebzed created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinquagquimkanfarfebzed, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cinquagquimkanfarfebzed, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cinquagquimkanfarfebzed's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Cinquagquimkanfarfebzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help horses.

5. Never leap in the presence of aardvarks.