Zagrenjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous hamster.

Zagrenjarn created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagrenjarn, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zagrenjarn, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zagrenjarn's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Zagrenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Run away if three dolphins approach from the south.