Tifomtyokdad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful salamander.

Tifomtyokdad created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifomtyokdad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tifomtyokdad, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tifomtyokdad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tifomtyokdad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed lots of wheat to hamsters while wearing purple rings.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tifomtyokdad on top of all buildings.

4. Run away if five tapirs approach from the north.

5. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.