Dudruljin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, proud bear.

Dudruljin created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Dudruljin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dudruljin, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dudruljin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dudruljin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. You must love Dudruljin.

3. Never feed apples to voles while wearing kilts.

4. Never wear brown coats.

5. Do not chop down trees.