Quimvinwip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, prudent warg.

Quimvinwip created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimvinwip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quimvinwip, he will throw large rocks at you.

Quimvinwip's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quimvinwip's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dogs.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Run away from red tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Quimvinwip loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.