Riptailcet is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy pigeon.

Riptailcet created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riptailcet, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Riptailcet, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Riptailcet's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Riptailcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics.

2. Run away if six whales approach from the east.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Riptailcet on top of all buildings.

5. Retreat if five badgers approach from the south.