Henwapzed Venrultetti is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, awesome cat.

Henwapzed Venrultetti created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Henwapzed Venrultetti, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Henwapzed Venrultetti, she will turn you into a goat.

Henwapzed Venrultetti's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Henwapzed Venrultetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about moths.