Teengomgem is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awe-inspiring aardvark.

Teengomgem created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Teengomgem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Teengomgem, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Teengomgem's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Teengomgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat turnips.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Hide from indigo voles for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Teengomgem in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.