Madgubnar is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, moody swan.

Madgubnar created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Madgubnar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Madgubnar, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Madgubnar's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Madgubnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Do not keep three mites in a large pit.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing red dresses and balancing eight zinc spheres on your legs.

5. Do not stand on grass.