Cepbifnillfod Kapjapquim is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish spider.

Cepbifnillfod Kapjapquim created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepbifnillfod Kapjapquim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cepbifnillfod Kapjapquim, it will turn you into a tree.

Cepbifnillfod Kapjapquim's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cepbifnillfod Kapjapquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing blue coats.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.