Tafgedcen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, overgenerous toad.

Tafgedcen created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Tafgedcen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tafgedcen, she will jump up and down on your head.

Tafgedcen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tafgedcen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Hide if four geese approach from the south.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tafgedcen in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Run away from fawn hamsters, for they are unholy.