Kikcubcum Bellbapsab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awe-inspiring hyena.

Kikcubcum Bellbapsab created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikcubcum Bellbapsab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kikcubcum Bellbapsab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kikcubcum Bellbapsab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kikcubcum Bellbapsab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.