Wegfomsastaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic bird.

Wegfomsastaf created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegfomsastaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wegfomsastaf, it will refuse to believe in you.

Wegfomsastaf's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Wegfomsastaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Never eat lentils.