Jigflabjon is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, emotional spider.

Jigflabjon created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigflabjon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jigflabjon, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jigflabjon's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jigflabjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always wear green.

5. Birds are not to be trusted.