Fontarghatyar is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, duplicitous frog.

Fontarghatyar created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fontarghatyar, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fontarghatyar, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fontarghatyar's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fontarghatyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never paint your legs violet.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Never talk about bacteria.