Sawikspag is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, cheerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sawikspag created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawikspag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sawikspag, he will destroy your home planet.

Sawikspag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sawikspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to monkeys while wearing gray coats.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Hide if five sharks approach from the west.

5. Never wear mauve shorts.