Bitpanwip Diddankip is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing raccoon.

Bitpanwip Diddankip created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitpanwip Diddankip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitpanwip Diddankip, he will not care at all.

Bitpanwip Diddankip's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bitpanwip Diddankip's Holy Commandments

1. Bitpanwip Diddankip must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Learn three new languages a year.