Wappakwodjip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, duplicitous swan.

Wappakwodjip created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Wappakwodjip, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wappakwodjip, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wappakwodjip's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Wappakwodjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always treat swans with great respect.