Femsandzag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, smart mole.

Femsandzag created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femsandzag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Femsandzag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Femsandzag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Femsandzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.