Nellmonpad Tinlistrig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome badger.

Nellmonpad Tinlistrig created the Tadpole Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellmonpad Tinlistrig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nellmonpad Tinlistrig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Nellmonpad Tinlistrig's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Nellmonpad Tinlistrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of pineapples to pigs while wearing turquoise hats.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Nellmonpad Tinlistrig on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Nellmonpad Tinlistrig loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not commit murder.