Tardobgep is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise porpoise.

Tardobgep created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tardobgep, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tardobgep, he will turn you into a tree.

Tardobgep's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tardobgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Always help badgers in need.