Cabpaggess Sitsandnell is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, quiet cat.

Cabpaggess Sitsandnell created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabpaggess Sitsandnell, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cabpaggess Sitsandnell, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Cabpaggess Sitsandnell's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cabpaggess Sitsandnell's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cabpaggess Sitsandnell.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Always obey Cabpaggess Sitsandnell's priests.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.