Jigpasqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, tiresome porpoise.

Jigpasqueeg created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigpasqueeg, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jigpasqueeg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jigpasqueeg's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jigpasqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest brown.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jigpasqueeg.