Pagdonxem is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciful squid.

Pagdonxem created the Tadpole Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagdonxem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pagdonxem, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Pagdonxem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Pagdonxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Never jump in the presence of horses.

3. Never talk about gravity near ducks while wearing pink ear rings and balancing eight copper spheres on your feet.

4. Always obey Pagdonxem's priests.

5. Respect your elders.