Mabpitkab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, stupid mole.

Mabpitkab created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Mabpitkab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mabpitkab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Mabpitkab's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Mabpitkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never feed garlic to cats while wearing gray dresses.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Never leap near squirrels.