Lopfigvon is a god.
She takes the form of a rotund, astonishing
giraffe.
Lopfigvon created dark matter five million years ago.
If you believe in
Lopfigvon, she will make you immortal.
If you do not believe in
Lopfigvon, she will turn you into a rat.
Lopfigvon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.
Lopfigvon's Holy Commandments1. Do not cook food in pots.
2. Never eat bark.
3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.
4. Never eat green fruit.
5. Hide from turquoise great tits for they are unholy.