Gofdosspark is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful shrew.

Gofdosspark created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofdosspark, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gofdosspark, he will turn you into a mole.

Gofdosspark's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gofdosspark's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Erect four zinc sculptures of Gofdosspark on top of important buildings.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.