Nigdutpan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, merciful guinea pig.

Nigdutpan created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigdutpan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nigdutpan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nigdutpan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Nigdutpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest mauve.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always wear black.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not make images of living things.