Badwontan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, benevolent pig.

Badwontan created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badwontan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Badwontan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Badwontan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Badwontan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Never look at black holes.