Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-powerful jellyfish.

Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Nurtlaplabhakhenappbit Mipfonmeg.

3. Never run in the presence of shrews.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about spacetime.