Wotgatgut is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, flying squid.

Wotgatgut created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Wotgatgut, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wotgatgut, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wotgatgut's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Wotgatgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing mauve corsets and balancing five lead spheres on your feet.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wotgatgut.

4. Always help goats.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.