Vanlogbop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful deer.

Vanlogbop created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanlogbop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vanlogbop, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vanlogbop's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vanlogbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vanlogbop.

5. Vanlogbop loves badgers, so they must be honoured.