Jopsasflap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent unicorn.

Jopsasflap created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopsasflap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jopsasflap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Jopsasflap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jopsasflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear fawn rings.

4. Always look after injured sharks.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.